


end

by MSBYBABY



Series: haikyuu radio [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hinata is hurting, Kageyama loves Hinata so much, M/M, Memories, Self-Hatred, brazil hinata, fluff?? maybe, idk what im doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSBYBABY/pseuds/MSBYBABY
Summary: Hinata is in Brazil for training, every night he remembers the blue-eyed boy he left behind, the only boy he's ever loved.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: haikyuu radio [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049420
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	end

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! welcome to my haikyuu radio series, it's basically just me listening to a song and associating haikyuu ships to them. each of the stories will be separate and no stories are tied together in any way. thank you for stumbling upon this work i hope you enjoy! 
> 
> this was inspired by the song end by jeremy zucker

_I should’ve seen this through, but I knew how it could end_

Hinata still remembers the day he told Kageyama he would be leaving to Brazil.

They were in bed, when Hinata’s heart started racing at the thought of telling Kageyama he was leaving, leaving him.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Kageyama pulled Hinata up to sit next to him.

“I’m leaving. To Brazil.” Hinata let the words fall out of his mouth, despite his heart telling him not to say it, he did and he hated the way he knew his words would make Kageyama feel.

He knew it would end this way, he knew he would have to let go of Kageyama at one point in his life, he didn’t think it would be this soon. He never felt good enough for Kageyama.

Kageyama felt his world stop. He let go of the sun, and in turn, the sun felt cold.

“I’m sorry” was all Hinata could muster as they laid in bed, no longer holding onto each other.

It was never going to be easy for him, this would probably be the hardest decision of his life but he did what he thought was best.

_\---_

_And I won’t let go, what I called a home_

The pair were always together, they were practically inseparable. So, when Kageyama called Hinata his home, he couldn’t help but let the butterflies in his stomach loose.

“Home is wherever you are, wherever you are I’m there, you can count on that.” No matter what Kageyama said to him and how amazing it felt at the moment, he couldn’t stop overthinking. There was definitely something wrong with him and he thought, _Kageyama doesn’t deserve this._

So, what did he do? He let himself be selfish, he held onto Kageyama for as long as he could. For as long as Kageyama let him. _It’s for the best_ he thought. _I will become better for him_.

\---

_I’m staring at the clouds, you know I hate this weather_

As Hinata stares up into the night sky from his bedroom window, he recalls the moment Kageyama said he reminded him of the sun.

Hinata was holding Kageyama’s hand as they walked through the park near their home.

He remembered the way Kageyama’s hand fit perfectly in his, and he smiled looking up into Kageyama’s content expression. 

“You remind me of the sun Shou, and I love the sun” Kageyama squeezes his hand and Hinata could barely comprehend that Kageyama just told him he loved him for the first time. Making Hinata fall for him all over again, because the moment Kageyama set to him for the first time, Hinata was already in love.

Back in Brazil, the night sky was practically mocking him. He hated the night time, but it was mostly because Kageyama compared him to the morning sky. Every day he’s reminded of that once beautiful but now painful memory.

_\---_

_I swear I could do better if you let me_

Kageyama knew Hinata was an over thinker. He knew that, which is why he constantly complimented him and made sure he knew he was loved.

Little did Kageyama know that his own words would be empty later on.

Hinata always thought he needed to be better for Kageyama, Kageyama thought Hinata was the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Hinata’s overthinking eventually led him to destroy the only thing that mattered most to him.

\---

_If I’m not with you how could I fall asleep again?_

Sleep was never easy for Hinata, he would always toss and turn trying to find the most comfortable position. That is until he started sleeping next to Kageyama.

Hinata never told him about his trouble sleeping, but Kageyama knew. After all, he knew him better than he knew himself. Or so he thought.

As soon as Kageyama pulled Hinata closer to him, sleep came so easy. Kageyama would pepper kisses to the back of his head every night, as if saying _I’m here_.

Everything Kageyama did seemed to make Hinata love the blue-eyed boy even harder.

In Brazil, although he would eventually drift off to sleep, it took him longer than usual. Longer than when Kageyama was right there next to him.

\---

_‘Cause in the end you’ll understand, I’m already a world away_

They hadn’t contacted each other in months. Hinata hopes that one day Kageyama would still love him the same despite breaking his heart to pieces.

Many times, he fought with his head and his heart, never being able to choose just one without hurting the other.

The last message he had sent Kageyama was right before he boarded his flight, “I’ll be a world away but I will never forget the way you made me feel”.

He remembered typing that message with tears in his eyes. Hoping that everything would be okay. That night, like many nights, Hinata laid in bed holding his phone to his heart.

\---

_If I need you, I’ll see you in my dreams_

He hopes he would see a glimpse of Kageyama in his dream, even for a second.

He hated himself for being the one to break his heart and having the audacity to wish Kageyama would still talk to him.

As soon as he drifted off to sleep, he started dreaming.

Hinata was not expecting Kageyama to be such a loving partner. This especially surprised him when Kageyama said, “You have my heart, you know? Keep it safe for me.”

With Kageyama holding Hinata’s hand to his heart, Hinata felt the thing beating like crazy.

Hinata smiled up at Kageyama and held his face in his hands, “Of course” he replied.

As soon as Hinata awoke from his dream, he started sobbing. _That wasn’t a dream_ , he thought, _it was a memory_.

\---

_But we can work it out_

Hinata didn’t understand why he couldn’t just accept Kageyama’s love because it was meant for him, and only him. That was clear for everyone to see.

The lingering voice in the back of his head stating that he was never going to be good enough for Kageyama was the driving force that made him commit to Brazil. Leaving behind the only boy he has ever loved.

Every day in Brazil, Hinata thinks about Kageyama. He thinks, _this isn’t fair to him, I’m the one who left him_. Every day he remembers the time he spent with Kageyama, hoping that once he got back and was a better person, Kageyama would accept him all the same.

As he walked down the streets of Brazil, he thought, _no he would never love me again, not after I broke his heart claiming I would keep it safe for him._

Hinata would arrive at the beach just as the sun was setting. It’s been months since he left the love of his life. The sand in between his toes matched with the warmth of the sun reminded him of the life he had back home, with Kageyama.

He tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall when suddenly a figure sat next to him.

Hinata breathed in that scent, that familiar scent of home. It was like time stopped.

He turned in shock to see Kageyama looking straight at the setting sun.

“Don’t act so surprised Shou, I once said wherever you are, I’m there.”


End file.
